Dude Looks Like a Lady
by Aridethdar
Summary: The Dursleys leave Harry during a family vacation to the Americas when Harry is very young. With no knowledge of who he is, where he lives, or even his name. He is found by a magical family with...issues and they decide to take him. However, when they realize WHO he is, they have to make some … changes. The WW is in for a shock! HP/LV(TR)
1. Left Behind

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does. And no, I do not make any money off of this. This is solely for my entertainment.

**Summary:** _The Dursleys leave Harry during a family vacation to the Americas when Harry is very young. With no knowledge of who he is, where he lives, or even his name. He is found by a magical family with...issues and they decide to take him. However, when they realize WHO he is, they have to make some … changes. The WW is in for a shock! _

**WARNINGS:** **If you don't read this, then you can't complain :P lol **Reference of child abuse/neglect. Unofficial kidnapping I guess, technically. But since the Dursleys don't care, is it really considered kidnapping? XD lol (Note: I don't condone kidnapping, but this is a fanfic and no children are harmed in the making... actually, it saves one.) Death of an OC... Cross-dressing. Oh! Main pairing is HP/LV (which means this is slash/gay/yaoi or however else you wish to phrase it) Thank you!

**A/N:** Saturday's story for my "Octoberfest." What's my Octoberfest you ask? Well, I plan on posting something EVERY DAY in month of October (except Sundays, but I probably will post that day too XD lol) I have 6 stories I'm updating weekly this month so... Expect this story to be updated every Saturday this month! ~

* * *

**Dude Looks Like a Lady**

Chapter One: Left Behind

Word Count: 2266

* * *

"I will NOT go back!" A raven haired woman yelled as she wrapped herself around the lamp post the couple had been passing.

"Zemirea, love, you have been hiding out in this country for four years. It's time you come home." The man tried to talk to the woman while he attempted to gently pry her away from the metal post.

"I said NO, Rynell! I will not… I can not…" Zemirea's emerald eyes welled up with tears as her voice started to crack. "I can not bear the shame of having lost a child." She whispered as she hid her face as best she could against the pole.

"Love, you need to come to terms with what happened." Rynell sighed as he ran a hand through his brunette hair, which effectively messed up his stately coiffure. "You're not the only one who has been hurting." His eyes softened as he placed a hand on the woman's shoulder.

Rynell's blue eyes sparkled like crystal as he looked at his lovely wife, who had wrapped herself around the pole as if it were a lover. Granted, if they were alone in their home he would find the display quite… enticing. However, no matter how low on the power scale their family was, they were purebloods and as such were expected to show some decorum while in public.

"Love… you look like a pole dancer."

Within a flash the woman had disentangled herself from the lamp post and stood a good yard away, smoothing out her lavender robes as if nothing had happened. Though the rose color tinting her cheeks told a story all its own.

"Now Zemirea, we cannot just stay in the Colonies…"

"Watch me." The woman cut in as she glared daggers at the man. "And they are not Colonies. America gained their independence ages ago." She stated plainly as she stuck her nose in the air.

"Yes, of course." Rynell stated, his hands in the air in a placating gesture. "But Zemi, we need to return to Britain."

"Why should I? I'm quite happy here."

"Because you are my wife." Rynell sighed. "Unless, of course, you no longer wish to be…" He trailed off, looking quite forlorn.

"Of course I want to be your wife!" The woman cried and hugged the man. "It's just… I was unable to provide you a child." She whispered brokenheartedly into his shoulder.

"Hush now." He said in a soothing voice. "We can talk about it, if that will make you feel better. But let's do it **together.**"

Several minutes passed as they just held each other before the woman started laughing lightly.

"We have not been acting like proper Purebloods today, have we?" She asked as she gave him a teary smile.

"Americans are much more lax than the society we are used to." Rynell shot back with a smile.

"Hence why I have been staying here… they would not judge me for being unable to bear a child." Zemi stated sadly as she pulled away from her husband's arms, though she did not move from him.

"Pureblood society is harsh, yes, but we have lived with it all our lives. True, neither of us are high up on the social ladder but…" He trailed off and shook his head. "Besides, maybe your body is just not ready to produce a child. You cannot be certain that you are barren. At any rate, perhaps the other Purebloods will not care to pay attention to our woes."

"Surely you jest. They are going to be all over this! When I return without a child… This is going to be horrible. Are you certain we cannot move here permanently?" She asked, her eyes pleading.

"My job is in Britain. I cannot abandon the business my family has put so much effort into for generations."

"I suppose you are right, Ry. I just wish…"

The sound of a child's laughter rang through the otherwise empty street and the couple looked at one another.

"Honestly, who in their right mind would have a child out this late? And in this area… do they not realize this town houses a vampire clan?" Zemi shook her head, though Rynell could see the worry in her gaze.

"I did not know that… then again, you have been here quite a bit longer than I. Perhaps they are from out of town as well? Let us go warn them of the dangers." Rynell offered his hand to the beautiful woman and she took it with a smile, both grateful for the distraction.

* * *

A lovely raven haired child walked around aimlessly in the large town. The child's big emerald eyes looked around excitedly, an expression of awe on their adorable young face.

"So pwetty!" The child giggled as he happily continued to check out all the sights, not one bit put off by the fact it was night time.

The little one's family had left him alone near the clock tower several hours ago. Even though the child's Aunt and Uncle told him not to try and find the family, after a couple of hours he just couldn't stay still. A kid will be a kid, after all, and the town was too lovely for the little guy to pass up!

Besides, the sun had gone down and the town lit up so pretty!

Though the little boy hadn't a clue where his family went, he didn't much care really. They weren't very nice and the place they lived was horrible! He should know, he was the one that cleaned and kept the place nice most of the time.

This place was so much better! All the lights and sights here were mesmerizing and the child wanted nothing more than to stay there always. It was like a town from one's dreams or something. A magical place where people cared about little freaks and didn't mind if a child was… odd.

'_Right, there's no such thing as magic.' _The boy sighed as they remembered what his Uncle always yelled whenever he said the "M" word… and the punishment that usually followed.

"Hey there little one. Aren't you just the cutest thing." A woman called from behind the child.

'_Ah, there must be another kid here too. She can't be talking about me.' _No… with the overly large clothes, which looked more like a dress than the shirt it actually was, and the big scar that adorned the small child's forehead… _'Yeah, she can't be talking about me. But maybe the other kid will wanna play…No, no one wants to play with a freak.'_ The child thought sadly.

"Are you alright, Sweetie? You're not a mute, are you?" The woman's voice sounded concerned and it was like…

'_Is she right next to me?' _The green eyed child wondered and looked over his shoulder in shock.

Sure enough, the nice lady was standing right beside them. But as he looked around he realized that there were no other children around, which meant…

'_She's talkin' to me!' _The green eyed boy thought in wonder and smiled brightly at the woman. "No Ma'm, I jus' didn' know you wer talkin' to me…" He stated happily. _'Wow, I've never seen hair the color of moonlight before…' _

The woman really was something! She had silver hair down to her waist, and it was very pretty. He had never seen hair that color on a young woman before. And the woman's eyes…

"Did you huwt yow eyes?" The boy inquired.

"Huh? No, why do you ask?" The woman inquired, clearly confused by the child's question.

"Cuz they awe da color of blood."

The eyes in question widened at the statement.

"How… what… How can you tell that? Kids aren't supposed to be able to… What the hell **_are_** you?" The woman growled and the boy cringed.

'_Great… she will know I'm a freak now.' _He sighed.

Well, the attention had been nice while it had lasted.

"I'm sorry Sweetie, I just… overreacted a little bit. I'm sure that you are perfectly…normal." The woman laughed, though the boy could tell it was nervous and, well, faked. "Would you like to come with me?" She asked with a sickly sweet smile and the boy stepped away.

"Um… no t'anks."

"Why not? I have some…"

"Step away from the child, Bloodsucker!" A deep, masculine voice came from behind the silver haired woman.

The boy watched as said woman turned around faster than he'd ever seen anyone move. Her kind demeanor gone, the green eyed child could see the woman bare her teeth at the man and…

'_Are those fangs?' _The child thought in wonder.

Sure, he had heard about vampires but… weren't those just myth? Stories to scare children and thrill adults?

The woman began to advance on the man and the boy wanted to help. He took a step forward, intent on trying to trip the woman up, but it was unnecessary. Before he even made it a second step there was a bright, blinding light and the silver haired lady disappeared with a horrifying scream.

'_What… what just happened?' _The boy wondered and noticed there was another woman. This one was different though. This new lady had black hair pulled up into a sophisticated hairdo, and she was holding a wooden stick. '_Can it be? Oh my! Can it be a real live vampire hunter?' O_nly a vampire hunter would have a wooden stake, right? _'That is so cool!'_

"Are you alright, little one?" The man asked, but the boy was still focused on the woman.

"Awe you… awe you a vampiuh huntuh?" The wide eyed child inquired and the woman smiled.

"Something like that. Where are your parents, little one? It is not safe here." At the woman's question, the child frowned.

"My pawent's awe dead, Ma'm."

The couple looked at each other for a moment before they turned their attention back to the child.

"Um… where are your guardians, little one?" The man asked and the child shrugged.

The boy hadn't a clue, honestly, so why try and explain? Besides, his family said not to try and find them so it was best he not tell anyone about the Dursleys. If he told these people, they would probably try and find his Aunt and Uncle and… He didn't really WANT anyone to find his family.

Being away from those people was nice, actually. Not having to worry about chores, or punishment, or lack of…

'_Oh, I will need food… maybe I should let these vampire hunters know what happened. Maybe they can find them. My Aunt and Uncle said I shouldn't come looking, they didn't say someone else couldn't.'_

"Um… Dey lef' me nex' to da clock and said not to find dem… But dey didn' say owers couldn'." The child smiled and the couple again shared a look.

"Are they nice?" The woman asked and the child shook his head.

"Not reawy." The child sighed and the woman's eyes narrowed.

'_Uh oh… They're not gonna like me now.' _The boy thought sadly.

"Then how about we be your family instead?"

"Zemi! We can't just…"

"Ry!" The woman cut the man off. "They abandoned this child with orders not to find them, there is no way I will take the child back to THAT." Zemi growled at the man and the boy looked at her wide eyed.

'_Is she… worried about me?' _

When the lady noticed the look the child was giving her she sighed and turned to him with a smile.

"Don't worry little one, I won't hurt you. What is your name?" Zemi asked and the child could tell by the look in her eyes that she was sincere.

There was just one problem…

"Mm not sure, Ma'm. A'nt and Unca call me boy or fweak." The boy responded and the woman glared.

"That settles it, you are not returning to those horrible people."

"Zemi…"

"Ry…"

"Meeting. Now." The man stated and walked a little ways away.

"Be right back, little one. Just hang tight and I will get you an ice cream after my husband and I talk a second. Okay?"

Green eyes widened and the boy nodded excitedly.

"Okay! I never had ice cweam befo'!" The raven haired child exclaimed happily.

The woman bit her lip as she looked at the child sadly. "We're going to have to fix that." She smiled before she turned and walked over to the man, leaving the boy with thoughts of the wonderful yummy cold food that his cousin would constantly eat in front of him.

Once his wife had joined him, Ry quickly threw up a privacy ward.

"Zemi, I know you are upset about not being able to have a child but… we can't just steal someone else's!"

"No, don't you see? Everything happens for a reason. His family abandoned him… think about it. We can take him, we can be his family and love him and…"

"But he's not one of us. Can you honestly handle the shame of supposedly having borne a Squib when the time comes?" Ry questioned and Zemi's bubble seemed to deflate a bit.

"Better the shame of having a Squib than no child at all." She hissed. A moment later she perked up and smiled at him. "Besides, he's the perfect age."

"Love…"

"And look at him! His coloring mirrors mine almost perfectly. Fixing his eyes will be easy, and we can blood adopt him so there are no questions. The goblins are great about keeping things confidential and..."

"Zemi..."

"No! I need this Ry… I cannot go home without… Please Ry. He needs people who care, who will give him a name and call him by it."

Rynell sighed. He knew it was a losing battle, and Zemi had a point. The boy had been abandoned apparently, and it seemed that his family didn't treat him well. But…

"Wait a second… What did he mean they call him freak?"

* * *

**A/N: **Please note, before you comment on Harry's thoughts vs. speech, he's only about four. His thoughts are more developed but, seeing as he isn't allowed to talk much, his vocals are still developing to be able to pronounce things well... Anyway, what do you think? Are my OCs entertaining? They have really come alive in my head and I'm enjoying them :D lol


	2. New Family

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does. And no, I do not make any money off of this. This is solely for my entertainment.

**Warnings:**Reference of child abuse/neglect. Unofficial kidnapping I guess, technically. But since the Dursleys don't care, is it really considered kidnapping? Oo;

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**Dude Looks Like a Lady**  
Chapter Two: New Family  
Word Count: 2049

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Zemi practically tore down Ry's ward and walked over to the child. She was not about to let her husband try and talk her out of this. She had made up her mind, she was going to be a mother! Even if the boy was a "freak," she would be damned if she didn't have a little one to raise before this day was out.

_'I have waited too long… I have suffered too much to give up now, especially when Fate is HANDING me what I want.' _Zemi thought and knelt down before the little boy.

The woman could hear Rynell approach and basked in the comfort it brought her. She had missed him. It had been a hectic schedule to keep, even if he was a Wizard, trying to keep the business going and see her when she had been a continent away…

_'But that's all about to change. We're coming home…' _Zemi smiled and gently grasped the little boy's hand. "Are you hungry?" She asked.

It wouldn't do for him to just eat ice cream, after all. The child was skin and bones, he needed something to put some weight on him. It was better to make sure he ate some real food before she got him the frozen dessert.

_'Though I will make sure he knows I do not go back on my word.' _She thought when she noticed the confused look on his cute little face.

"Ice cweam?" The boy asked hesitantly, as if he expected her to laugh and tell him she was joking.

_'Bloody monsters! How could they do this to a baby?' _ Zemi mentally sighed though she kept a smile on her face for the child's sake. _'No matter. He's mine now.'_

"We will get some ice cream, but that is a dessert. You need to eat some food first." The raven haired woman said happily, but the child's demeanor fell.

"Oh… I gwess I no have any den. I have to find my famwey befo' I can have food…" He paused. "Den again, dey wiw pwobwey be upset dat I didn' lissen and not lemme has any." The child spoke softly, as if he were telling himself what their reaction would be.

"Nonsense. Your family is right here, and all three of us are going to go to this lovely restaurant just a few blocks from here. After we eat, I will get you a big ice cream for dessert." She stated and lightly squeezed his hand in an attempt to drive her point home.

She knew he wouldn't be able to eat a large ice cream, and most would go to waste, but at this point the gesture would stand out in the child's mind.

"Reawey?" The boy squealed in delight while emerald eyes, much like her own, sparkled with hope.

"Really." She nodded and watched at the child pulled away a little bit to twirl around. Even Ry smiled in response to the boy's little happy dance.

Zemi stood up and held out her hand for the child to take. Her face lit up -showed how happy she was- when the boy took her hand with the trusting innocence that only a child could and they started down the sidewalk toward the diner she had spoken of.

Zemi knew Ry was right behind her, could feel his magic caressing her own… Though judging by his silence, the man was deep in thought.

_'I do not mind. So long as he does not ruin this for me.' _She thought and threw him a look over her shoulder. His magic felt loving, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try anything if he thought this was a bad idea.

Ry, however, smiled at her and nodded.

He understood.

_'Good.'_

oOoOoOo

Rynell had merely watched as Zemi tore down his ward. He knew she was upset and was more than happy to let her take it out on his harmless little spell. Besides, there were other things he need be concerned about.

Like the child, for instance. It was obvious that his wife wasn't about to give up on this idea she had in her mind. And if taking the child with them brought his love home? Well, who was he to object? The boy had been abandoned by his family, so there wouldn't be an issue.

_'And once we get him to Gringotts and blood adopt, no one will ever know he belonged to anyone else.'_

Though he would have to watch the papers and make sure that no one reported the child missing. It was highly doubtful considering the information the boy had given them, but he wanted there to be no threats to their claim.

_'Either that or, should they use a photo, we need to make sure no one would guess that the two are one in the same…' _

He had to think on that one. Before they left for home tomorrow, he would have a plan… or Zemi would once he brought the issue to her attention.

_'Yes, I should get her on that… and a name. Can't very well adopt the child without giving them a name.'_

"Here we are!" Zemi's exclamation brought him out of his musings and, sure enough, they stood before the quaint little eatery.

"Wow… pwetty." The child said in awe as they entered the building.

Everywhere there were ribbons and lace. The tables set with frilly doilies, pretty pink coasters, and lovely lavender napkins.

Ry's inner male was screaming in horror, and what did the boy say?

_'The child's relatives did call him "boy," right? Maybe his attitude is why they called him freak...'_Ry wondered as he shook his head.

"I love this place, don't you agree?" Zemi asked the child happily, already connecting with their newest addition.

"Yea! Is so pwetty, I wuv da cuwors!" The boy giggled happily.

_'Are we sure the child is male? I'll have to check when we get home.'_

"And tomorrow I will take you shopping for clothes. Those rags are unbecoming and you would do well to wear something befitting your station." Zemi grinned and Ry chuckled.

Too bad the child wasn't female. Zemi could have a lot more fun with that…

_ 'That's it!' _ Regardless of whether or not the boy's relatives decided to look for him or not, if people were looking for a male… _'I shall run it by Zemirea.' _It wouldn't do to make a decision without her.

Especially when it came to the kid. Rynell hadn't a doubt in his mind that his wife would hex him into next week if he were to do something to the child behind her back. Even if it were something as harmless as dressing the boy up to deceive everyone into thinking him a girl.

Besides, the kid acted like he was a girl trapped in a boy's body anyway. What with his love of lace, and frills, and…

"Sopping? I can go sopping? Yays! And I can has my own cwowes?" The child looked about ready to burst with excitement.

Yes, Ry didn't foresee there being an issue with passing the child off as a girl. The boy already acted the part. Though just to be sure, after he confirmed the plan with his wife, they would have to have a talk with the child and explain that life would be better for him as a girl.

One of the attendants ushered them to a lovely little booth. Rynell sighed as he sat down, mentally making a note to shower with the most testicle approved wash he owned when they returned home. Honestly, it wouldn't do for him to start questioning his masculinity...

"Would you like a coloring book little girl?" One of the waitresses asked their little ward and Ry smiled.

It looked like there wouldn't be any issues with passing the child off as a girl. The boy was already mistaken as one. All they needed to do was change a few minor details...

"Can I?" The child looked at Zemi to see if it was okay.

Before Ry could comment, however, Zemi's eyes lit up.

_'Oh dear, she has an idea… I can only pray this ends well.'_

"Yes, my daughter would love one." She told the waitress with a brilliant smile.

_'Hmmm… it appears my wife and I are on the same page.'_Thank Merlin.

"Okay! Sit tight Princess, I will be right back." The lady smiled and started to walk away. "Oh! I know this is a strange question, and I don't mean to be rude but…" The woman trailed off.

"Yes." Rynell raised an eyebrow inquiringly, curious as to what the Muggle would ask.

"Well, it appears that she had an… accident, and you had to dress her in what you could find in your car, right?" The blonde started and Ry nodded.

If that's what they wanted to believe, then he was more than happy to let them keep on thinking as much. It would be too bothersome to try and explain and he didn't feel like Obliviating the lot.

"Well, my sister is a designer and she brought me an outfit she made. If it's alright with you, Princess here can have it…" The woman trailed off.

The waitresses' offer was a little surprising and Rynell had to wonder…

"What's the catch?" He was a Slytherin, after all. Best to know all the details before accepting.

"Can I take a few pictures?" She started out slowly. "I think she would be a perfect model! I've been waiting to find a little girl who would do the outfit justice and I think your daughter is the one! I'll only take a few pictures for my sister's portfolio and your daughter can have a one of a kind Lula Special." The woman explained quickly and her eyes shined with hope.

"You have to admit dear, our little girl is too cute to resist." Zemi sent him a knowing smile, which caused him to chuckle.

"Very well." Rynell agreed.

"Thank you!" The waitress exclaimed. "Let me take your order real quick so I can put it in, and we can probably get this done before the cook is even finished!"

Rynell nodded. "I believe I will have your… "Sparkle lovers" special." Internally he shuttered at the name. He would have to do something very manly to make up for this, otherwise his testosterone levels might never recover.

"I will have the same." Zemi stated before she looked to their "daughter," who seemed confused. "She will have whatever the most popular kids meal is." His wife stated to the waitress, though her attention was on the child.

As soon as the lady was gone, Zemi leaned over to speak with said child.

"If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it alright? Just let us know and we will get something else." Zemi explained and the child nodded.

"I have a qwestion…" The boy started hesitantly, as if expecting to be punished for making an inquiry.

_'Bastards probably did punish him…'_

"Go ahead, dear. Asking questions is a good thing, it's how you learn." Ry stated firmly, yet he made sure to keep his tone friendly.

"Reawey? Cuz Unca said…"

"Forget what they said, you are with us now." Zemi cut in and the child looked at her with wide eyes for a moment before a small smile graced his features.

"T'ankies."

"As for your question…" Rynell prompted. His own curiosity was getting the best of him and he really wanted to know what they child would ask.

Granted, he had a feeling as to what it pertained but it would be more interesting to hear it from the boy himself.

"Um… why did she call me a giwl?"

Yes, that was the question he had been waiting for.

"You said your relatives called you a freak and you were not treated well, correct?" Zemi began and the child nodded. "Well, girls are treated a lot better than boys. AND if your Aunt and Uncle wont be able to take you away from us if you pretend to be a girl." She explained.

"Reawey?"

"Really."

"Otay! I'll be a good giwl!"

"That's the spirit!" The waitress laughed as she entered the room.

Rynell eyed the outfit and cringed. Good thing the child had happily accepted posing as a girl from now on, otherwise the ensemble would likely have scarred him for life.

"Let's get you changed, Caesarea."

_'Caesarea, hmm?' _ Ry mulled it over for a moment before a smirk graced his lips. _ 'Yes, a fine name. One worthy of a Pureblood.' _Now all they needed to do was get to Gringotts and make it official.

But that could wait until tomorrow.

"We'll just get this headband on, I'll do up your hair and makeup a bit real quick and… Oh, we're going to have to cover up that scar. No worries!"

_'Glad the girls are having fun and leaving me out of it…'_

Wait a sec…

"What scar?"

oOoOoOo

**A/N:** Uh oh, looks like they're about to find out their little "girl's" birth name XD lol Next chapter they will be going to Gringotts and the American version of Diagon Ally ~ That's going to be fun! Especially when they find out one of their "daughter's" unique traits XD lol

Goodbye Harry Potter! Hello Caesarea Noir!

Note: The town is mostly made up of Magicals and Squibs, with a nice little (notice I say this with sarcasm) Vampire Clan that's moved in recently. The couple lucked out and met quite possibly the only Muggle in the town but that will be expounded upon come next chapter...

In other news... there is a poll on my profile if you all would be so kind as to take a moment to vote. It's just asking what story I should focus on once my "Octoberfest" is over. Thankies!

Thank you to everyone who has Reviewed, Followed, and Favorited! I really appreciate it and though I don't have time to respond to reviews like I had hoped I would, seeing as most of my spare time goes to writing, it doesn't mean I don't read them~ They make me smile and I love you all for it! ~


	3. Cover Story

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does. And no, I do not make any money off of this. This is solely for my entertainment.

**Warnings: **Reference of child abuse/neglect. Unofficial kidnapping I guess, technically. But since the Dursleys don't care, is it really considered kidnapping? Oo; Cross-dressing.

**A/N: For those of you who like Harry Potter and Death's Deal**… er, the notebook went MIA and… yeah. So instead I am posting this as my "Friday Update." Yeah, I know, it's Thursday…but I don't foresee me locating and typing up the chapter for HPaDD by tomorrow so why bother to wait posting this? **And don't worry, I'll post a chapter of DLLaL on Saturday as scheduled! So double post this week!**

**(How to say their names): **Dark Serpent Cat mentioned that some people are curious as to the pronunciation of the names. Honestly, I meant to mention that earlier and forgot XD lol Thank you for pointing out my whoopsie! Lol

Zemirea (Zem - mere - ay ) Nickname: Zemi (Zem - me) Rynell (Rye - nell ) Nickname: Ry (Rye) Caesarea (Say - sar - ree - a) Nickname: 'Rea (Ree - a) … I hope those make it easier. Not sure how others pronounce them, but that's what they are in my mind XD lol`

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**Dude Looks Like a Lady**

Chapter Three: Cover Story

Word Count: 2605

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'_Our daughter is the Boy Who Lived.'_

Who would have thought? Actually no one would suspect that their "daughter" was the Potter scion, but if they were really going to risk keeping the boy and claiming him as their little girl… Well, there was a lot he and his wife needed to discuss.

Like a cover story. There had to be a background. Some reason as to why she and their "daughter" had been living state side for the last four years. And they needed to be able to explain away the child's boy parts should anyone happen to discover them.

Granted, when the child became of age they could take him to St. Mungos and have that taken care of with a potion, but it would be the boy's decision. Beyond that, the hospital would not allow anyone to change their gender until they reached their majority. It was a big decision, and the potion's effects were permanent. The procedure was not to be taken lightly so both recipe and potion were guarded fiercely.

The potion was out of the question for several years, so they would have to have a good excuse for the child's extra appendage.

'_I wonder…' _Yes, he had an idea… but would it be good enough? Could it protect all of them?

Rynell was a Slytherin through and through, which meant he was no fool. The gains of having the Boy Who Lived as his "daughter" could be huge, given the fact that the child would be a powerful magic user. But there was a down side. A MASSIVE down side.

They would have to hide WHO the child was.

Both he and his wife were from old Pureblood families. Sure, they were branch families that had lost any rights to claim the main sect, but it was their legacy. As such, they were constantly in contact with others who upheld to the "Old Ways." It wasn't like they could just disengage or distance themselves from their society, doing so would be extremely suspicious.

Besides, they were not Bloodtraitors.

'_Even if we are going to house the child who took down the Dark Lord.'_

It wasn't as if Ry and his wife had been Death Eaters or anything though. Yes, they were all for the Old Ways and honored their traditions, but they had never taken the Mark. They had never followed the Dark Lord, and had never gone after Muggles…

'_But those we associate with have.'_

They would have to have a fool proof alibi. A solid plan and a flawless cover. Because should they be discovered, things could be dangerous. Downright deadly, in fact.

'_Well, we will just have to make sure we're not caught then, won't we?' _

If someone had told him twenty four hours ago he would be hiding the bloody Boy Who Lived right under everyone's noses, he would have laughed and called the person insane. But after seeing the light in Zemi's eyes, to see her show excitement after so many years, Ry knew it would be more than worth it.

Now all they had to do was figure out the finer details. While Harry - or Caesarea as the child would be called from now on - slept, he and Zemi would create the cover story. Tomorrow, before they went to Gringotts, they would tell their "daughter" what "she" needed to know.

The child was bright, Ry had seen it for himself during the impromptu photo session. The boy had played the part of a girl brilliantly and had everyone fooled. Staff and guests alike had fawned over the child, declaring that "she" was the most lovely little girl they had ever seen.

The child cleaned up nicely, that was for certain. Once the woman had done up the boy's hair and makeup, the kid looked like a living doll.

'_A Slytherin doll.' _Ry thought with a chuckle.

Yes, he had been quite stunned to see that the dress was green and silver, just like his old House. A green base with lots of silver lace. A gorgeous piece really, for a girl, and the outfit had brought out the child's eyes spectacularly. It had made the boy…

'_No, if we're going to do this right the child is no longer a male, not even in our thoughts.' _

Right. The outfit made HER look like a perfect porcelain doll. So delicate and refined, yet shy and innocent. The sleeves covered her arms completely and flared out at the bottom. The cuffs, lined with lace, hid her hands entirely unless she wanted them to show.

The dress only came to the child's knees, but with black tights and silver shoes…

'_Good thing Zemi managed to talk the Muggle out of a picture.' _He would enjoy showing his daughter off. Perhaps other Purebloods would invite them to events in an attempt to introduce their sons to the little beauty. _'This is going to become increasingly amusing. Dangerous, but amusing nonetheless.'_

Speaking of the woman who had seen the child's scar… Luckily the waitress had been, quite possibly, the only Muggle in the whole town. She hadn't known what the scar on the child's head meant, and she had done a perfect job of concealing the blemish. The diner had been empty when she had mentioned the mark, and no one had overheard, so Ry didn't foresee there being any issues.

Of course, regardless of whether she would cause complications or not, Ry hadn't taken the chance and had Obliviated that particular memory once the woman had finished with Caesarea's makeup.

They could never be too careful.

"Can you believe it?" Zemi asked when she entered the living room and effectively collapsed into the recliner across from his own. "The Boy Who Lived, abandoned. Dumbledore is going to flip!" She laughed.

Sure, they might not be followers of the Dark Lord, but it didn't mean they liked the old coot either.

"Do you think, by chance, he might have a heart attack?" Ry inquired, his tone the same as one he would use should be asking about the weather.

"If we're lucky." Zemi smiled sweetly. "Preferably in public. At a big event." She added with a laugh.

Pureblood raised or not, his wife had always been rather… candid. Sure, she could socialize with the best of them and hold her own at events, but she had always been herself around him. Quite frankly, he loved his little Slytherin Lioness.

"I can only hope our daughter will turn out to be like you." Ry stated softly.

Yes, it would be best for the child. To be able to blend in when needed, but still be able to express oneself while in the company of those they trust. That's what he wanted for any children they may have…

"So… we have a name, a disguise, and the child is all for it. What are we going to tell everyone?" Zemi asked.

All joking aside, they really did need to get down to business. They didn't have long if they wanted to get some sleep before their trip to Anom Alley. They would have to take their little 'Rea to Intellectu Alley, and pick up some clothes and other supplies at Abnorm Alley while they were at it. It would look strange if they arrived in Britain and their child had nothing.

"Tomorrow while I take care of some business, why don't you take 'Rea shopping?" Ry smiled as he watched the way his wife's eyes lit up.

"Oh! She is to wear nothing but dresses! After seeing her tonight in her new outfit, it would be criminal not to doll her up all the time. Though I will need to get some Seal o' Skin…"

"Seal o' Skin?" Why would his wife need that? It was used to adhere to the skin so it was as if a person never had any wrinkles or scars… "The scar!" Ry nearly smacked himself on the forehead, but refrained.

His wife might be candid, but he had been raised to a lot stricter standards.

"Yes, rather than her taking the time to apply makeup and chance being caught, she could just quickly smack on one of those every day. Besides that, Seal o' Skin can last through just about anything whereas makeup runs at the first sign of moisture."

Merlin his wife was brilliant!

"And how to explain away our daughters male appendage?" Ry inquired, wondering if they might be on the same page once more in regards to the child's gender issue…

"Why, love, it is the reason we remained state side all this time. Our lovely child was born a hermaphrodite. We didn't want to decide for the child which gender they would be, regardless of certain features, so while you took care of thing back home I took care of our child here." Zemi smiled and Ry nodded in agreement.

Yes, that was actually better than his idea…

"Though it was hard, we had agreed not to speak of it, not to talk about our child. We agreed not to tell anyone whether we had a son or a daughter because, at the time, we had both yet neither. We patiently waited until the child showed a definite sign of what gender they would be comfortable being and… viola! We have a daughter."

Ry had to hand it to her, despite her outbursts and downright Gryffindor nature, Zemi was a brilliant Slytherin.

"I think that covers everything. Now all we need do is go to Gringotts and enlist their assistance."

"I can't wait to see Axerod!" His wife exclaimed happily. "Do you think you could take 'Rea to get some books while Axerod and I play a game or two of gobstones?"

"To keep on that goblin's good side? Certainly. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been in one of those goblin wars Professor Binns used to drone on and on about."

"He's been in two, actually." She shrugged.

'_Well that explains a lot.'_

"He's got a pretty scary reputation among the goblins."

"No wonder they all cater to his every whim." Ry chuckled.

"Yep! And hence why it is best to keep the man happy." Zemi joined in his mirth.

Merlin he had missed her laughter.

"Well, let us get to bed my dear. We have a long day ahead of us." Ry stated as he got up and offered his elbow for Zemi to take.

"That we do, love." She responded as she got to her feet and took her husband's arm. "But first, how about we do a little celebrating." And with that she pulled her husband into the bedroom with little protest.

Honestly, what man in his right mind would be against THAT?

oOoOoOo

Caesarea was a very happy child. He had slept on a bed! A REAL bed. With fluffy covers and soft pillows and everything!

Not only that, but he had a name. A real name, not just boy or freak. Those weren't names, they were nouns. And they weren't nice ones either.

The only catch was he had to be a girl, but the child was fine with that. If it meant being loved and having a family that cared for him, then he was all for it!

'_Right, can't think of myself as a boy any more. I'm a girl, so I have to think of myself as one.' _The child nodded to "herself." _'Besides, I get to dress up and have pretty things.' _She thought about the dress the waitress had given her last night and how everyone had shown her attention.

Yes, if being a girl meant that people would treat her like a Princess, then she would be more than happy to oblige.

'_And mum said that the Dursleys wont be able to take me away if I'm a girl!' _The child was no fool, she understood that IF her relatives even searched for her they would be looking for the "boy." If she wasn't a boy, there wouldn't be one to find.

A simple fix, yes, but one nobody would anticipate. All things considered, 'Rea was sure she would love being a Noir!

'_Oh! Mum and Dad said they would take me shopping today!' _She thought happily and hopped out of bed.

The sun had just barely started to light the sky, though it would be another good half hour before the Morning Star rose above the horizon. Just enough time for 'Rea to make them some breakfast!

'Rea made her way to the bedroom door, not caring that she was still in her pajamas, and slipped out without making a sound. As many times as she had done this at the Dursleys, she knew she was good and her new family wouldn't have to worry about her needlessly waking them up.

'_Now to find the kitchen.' _'Rea thought happily and quietly made her way through the house.

If she wasn't mistaken, the area in question wouldn't be too terribly far from the living room. She had glimpsed a dining area when they had briefly visited the family room last night, before mum had put her to bed, and usually the kitchen was connected to it.

'_Bingo!' _She smiled, proud that she was so clever as to find the kitchen without any help. _'Now to get to work on breakfast.' _She then went about trying to locate the refrigerator.

Only there wasn't one.

'_Well that's strange. Where do they keep their eggs and stuff?' _The child was confused, to say the least, but would not be deterred! She would find something to fix for her family, she wouldn't let them think she was a bad girl that couldn't do her chores.

"Wat be yous doins, Mees?" A voice she didn't recognize came from behind and 'Rea turned to greet the newcomer.

"I was jus…" She paused when she got a look at the person.

But it wasn't really a person. It was a… creature, for lack of a better word, that stood no taller than she did. Their skin tone was kind of… off, and the thing was all wrinkly. Not to mention their eyes were HUGE and resembled Uncle Vernon's tennis balls.

"Wat awe yow?" She asked without thinking.

'_Bad 'Rea! Asking questions is… oh wait, Dad said it was good to ask questions.' _She mentally shrugged and just hoped that she wouldn't be punished for her inquiry.

"I bees a House Elf, Mees!" The creature answered proudly and 'Rea cocked her head to the side, as if looking at the creature from a different angle would help her come to terms with WHAT exactly she was looking at.

'_I know my speech isn't the best, but this "House Elf" talks like I did when I was TWO.' _To a point at least.

She knew her sentence structure was more like that of adults now, whereas a few years ago she had practically just put random words together. But she had listened. Whether it be just everyday talk, or when Uncle Vernon had his "upper class" clients over, she had listened.

She found that just listening worked wonders, and was more effective than asking questions… well, in her experience at any rate. Judging by Dudley, who was ALLOWED to ask questions, her intelligence and learning methods far surpassed his.

Not to mention other things she had come to notice by just observing. Questions tended to put people on guard and make them tense. Just hearing someone out, however, allowed them to be at ease. And a relaxed person was much more likely to be forthcoming with the information one desired.

'Rea looked at the House Elf and smiled. Yes, it was best to listen.

"Tell me abou' yowself."

oOoOoOo

**A/N: Please note that there is a poll on my profile! It is to help me see which fic I should focus on after Octoberfest is all said and done. **If you all thought I could keep posting something every day, you're crazy! :P lol

I meant to get them to Anom Ally in this chapter… Whoops. Oh well, something to look forward to next time. Lol

I took a page from J K Rowling in the Alley naming area. If you noticed, Knocturn Alley (Nocturnally) and Diagon Alley (diagonally) are kind of "play on words" while being the words, in a sense. So Anom Alley (anomaly), Intellectu Alley (intellectually), and Abnorm Alley (abnormally). Just wanted to explain my thinking. Thought I was being clever XD lol Especially considering the meanings… But I'm probably just being a dunce. Ah well, at least I'm having fun!

**Next time: **The family's cover story is put to the test a bit sooner than they had planned and Axerod has a plan…


	4. A Star is Born

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter, the lovely J K Rowling does. And no, I do not make any money off of this. This is solely for my entertainment.

**Warnings: **Reference of child abuse/neglect. Unofficial kidnapping I guess, technically. But since the Dursleys don't care, is it really considered kidnapping? Oo; Cross-dressing. Language.

**A/N: **Yes, this is supposed to be posted on Saturday, BUT... I have a oneshot for Sunday but I will not be able to post ON Sunday. Therefore I am moving up the posting schedule a bit XD lol I post this Friday and oneshot on Saturday :D See? Simple fix and everyone wins, right?

oOoOoOo

**Dude Looks Like a Lady**

Chapter Four: A Star is Born

Word Count: 3032

Beta: is on vacation... all fuck ups are mine and I have no Sapphyre to catch them for me T.T lol Sorry ^^;;

oOoOoOo

Zemi had awakened shortly after dawn… well, at least as soon as the damn sun decided to shoot it's doom rays through the window and BLIND her.

Nevertheless! She was up, moving and completely psyched about taking her daughter out shopping!

"Punkin." She called out once she had left the bedroom.

She would let 'Rea and Ry sleep in while she got ready. In the meantime she would see to it that their little House Elf, Punkin, would whip up a delightful breakfast for three. With anything and everything her daughter could want, mind you.

"Punkin?" Well that was odd. Usually the little thing answered in an instant and was hopping about as she waited for her orders. "Punkin!" Still no answer. _'Well this just wont do! I hope the little thing is okay…' _Their little Elf was still just a kid after all.

Well, technically Punkin was a teenager… but comparably speaking, the Elf was a child.

"She might be in the middle of cooking and just doesn't want to burn anything." That was a good possibility.

Actually, that was more than likely the case. After all, when they first got Punkin she had delayed in responding on several occasions for just such a reason.

"I will just go and see to it that she makes up a kid friendly menu as well." She smiled and made her way to the kitchen.

When Zemi entered the room, however, she froze.

There, cooking right alongside Punkin, was her daughter. From the looks of it 'Rea was quite familiar with the chore.

'_If I ever see those Muggles, I will hand them over to the Death Eaters. With bells on!'_

Yes, she didn't like the implications of 'Rea's ease in the kitchen one bit.

Alas, there was little she could do about it now aside from…

'_Wait. She is cooking with Punkin. She is not freaking out about a House Elf… Yet she was, apparently, raised by Muggles…' _Now she had to wonder how long the child had been up, and if she had slept through the girl's freak out session. _'Or did she have one at all?'_

"Good mownin' mum. Bwekfas' wiw be weady soon!" 'Rea stated happily and Zemi smiled.

"You know, you do not have to cook 'Rea… In fact, I would prefer it if you did not. That is Punkin's job."

"Punkin Princess ish always welcoms to come sees Punkin!" The House Elf exclaimed happily in an attempt to try and make the child feel wanted, while at the same time they were kicking her out of the kitchen.

"Come along 'Rea, let's get ready to go shopping while Punkin finishes breakfast. Then we can eat and head out."

"Otay!" 'Rea giggled and handed the spatula to Punkin.

"Punkin like Princess!" The House Elf let her opinion be known before she got back to work.

"Le's go?" 'Rea inquired and tentatively raised her hand, almost as if she were worried Zemi wouldn't take it.

'_She shall learn soon enough.' _Zemi thought and gently took the child's small hand. "I will always hold your hand when you need me to." She stated reassuringly and 'Rea smiled her thanks.

Yes, she and Ry had a lot of work to do. The mere fact that their little 'Rea had thought she was supposed to cook for the family proved as much, but they had to be delicate about the situation. It would not do to alienate the child or force her outside of her comfort zone.

'_One step at a time.'_

And the next step was shopping!

oOoOoOo

'_Merlin help me.' _Ry thought as he followed along behind his female counterpart and their little girl.

He was dignified as ever on the outside, but internally he feared that today would be a repeat of last night. He didn't think his masculinity could survive yet another "Frilly Lily Café" and their "Sparkle Specials." The girls could have at it, he would kindly bow out and hide in Intellectu Alley.

Of course he'd never admit to HIDING but, well… He was sure he could come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn't be able to join them for lunch. They had to go to Gringotts first anyway, then he would take 'Rea to Intellectu Alley while Axerod and his wife played gobstones for a bit, and after that Zemi would join them for lunch…

'_I will then explain that I have some business to attend to,'_ Which was true, '_ apologize for not joining them, and tell them to enjoy themselves while I am off working…' _Yes, that sounded like a wonderful idea.

"This is Gringotts, 'Rea. The bank we were telling you about." His wife's voice brought him out of his musings and he watched as she pointed out the massive building to their child.

Ry was somewhat concerned when 'Rea didn't really show much response aside from a nod. He had been impressed when he got here, and he was a full grown adult who had seen Britain's Gringotts.

Like the one housed in London, this branch of Gringotts was big and white. But unlike the one back home, the American version looked like a replica of the White House… With a gold top.

"See the creatures guarding the doors? Those are goblins."

Those goblins were the reason there was a gold top on the building. The creatures loved the stuff and were more than happy to show it.

Yet even the shiny top didn't get a response out of their daughter. Not even a little gasp.

'_That is not normal.' _Ry thought sadly, knowing that the child's "relatives" probably had something to do with her lack of reaction. _'To remain so calm in the face of adversity and surprises will be a good thing… in the FUTURE. Not now…' _

" 'Rea, love, why so quiet?" Zemi asked in an attempt to get the girl talking.

"Jus' twakin' ehweyting in." Something clicked in Ry's mind at the kid's response.

"Let me guess… you reserve judgment and action until you can calmly make sense of it?"

Big green eyes looked up at him and Ry smiled. Though the girl didn't admit it, that was precisely what she did.

'_She will make a brilliant Slytherin.'_ He couldn't help but think she would one day end up in the same House he and his wife had been sorted into.

"Lady Noir! So good to see you…" Axerod began as he made his way toward them, surprising everyone in the building.

It was a well known fact that goblins weren't the friendliest of creatures. To have a goblin greet a witch, and HAPPILY, was a rare sight indeed.

'_What can I say? My wife is amazing.'_

Axerod looked at Caesarea and nodded in approval as a smirk pulled at his lips. The goblin pointedly glanced at a group of people and Ry recognized as being from Britain. More specifically, Britain born Purebloods who were likely here on vacation.

'_Uh oh.' _Ry could only pray that they had time to hide…

The group turned to look at Axerod and Ry's family. Obviously they were as curious as everyone else as to who the goblin had greeted much like one would an old friend.

Seemed he and his family had become the center of attention.

'_This could be bad.'_

"Finally! I was wondering when you would see fit to introduce me to your daughter. Four years, woman! Four years is much too long to hide away such a beauty." Axerod mock scolded and Ry nearly sighed in relief.

Being on a goblin's good side had its advantages it seemed. Because, if Ry wasn't mistaken, the goblin had specifically made a spectacle of things just to put them in the spotlight. Or, to be more precise, bring attention to their child and the fact they had one.

"Ah, and you brought the man of the house." Axerod huffed. "Did you really have to? I'd much prefer to be surrounded by you lovely ladies for the rest of the day." The goblin smirked and 'Rea giggled.

'_He's good.'_ Ry smiled. Hey, if the goblin could make his daughter laugh, he wasn't about to say anything to upset the guy.

"Alas, I suppose we could engaged in some man talk for a while." Axerod sighed as he walked over to stand by Ry. "We may want to move away a little bit." He whispered.

"Why?" Ry asked in an equally low tone.

"Zemirea! It's been ages, how have you been?" An Italian woman broke away from the group of Purebloods and came towards them.

"That's why." Axerod huffed. Apparently the goblin was torn between being proud of himself for his plan coming together, or being put out by the fact that there were more people around. Time was wasting and time is money, and goblins hated losing money.

"So is this where you have been hiding out?" The lovely Italian woman inquired in a playful tone once she was closer to his wife.

He could see the dark beauty looking their daughter over and knew what this was about.

'_Apparently she's the one that lost the draw and has been sent to figure out the details… I just pray that our cover story holds together seeing as it's all so new.' _Though Ry was apprehensive, he had faith in their "daughter."

After all, she didn't want to go back to her relatives so he was certain their Slytherin addition would perform brilliantly.

"Stella? Stella Zabini?" Zemi pretended to be shocked to see the woman.

Had Ry been anyone else, it would seem like genuine surprise, but he knew his wife. She had a love of flair and dramatics from time to time.

"Goodness! It has been a long while. I have been wonderful, and how have you been?" His wife smiled and greeted the other woman in standard Pureblood form.

"I have been good." Stella smiled and looked at 'Rea. "And who might you be? You know, you look just about my son's age."

Ah, it seemed Ry's initial thoughts had been wrong. The Zabini woman hadn't lost a contest and been sent over to check things out. No, the woman had decided to get some details and scope things out for her own gain.

It was every Pureblood's desire to make a dream match for their child, after all. Though the Noir family was not high on the social scale, a child who was already showing great promise in the looks department was worth investigating. One had to admit, regardless of gender, 'Rea was stunning.

"Hewo" 'Rea curtseyed prettily to the woman, which impressed everyone watching.

'_Wonder where she learned that…'_

"My nam' is Caesawea Noaw, ma'm" 'Rea introduced herself courteously, her pronunciation was just adorable and had everyone who was observing the exchange smiling.

"My, what wonderful manners!" The Zabini woman exclaimed in honest shock.

Even for a Pureblood raised child, 'Rea acted exceptionally well behaved and polite.

'_Must be because of her "relatives"… It is a shame she had to endure their treatment, but I believe it shall work in her favor.'_

"What a delightful young lady you are!" Stella praised the little girl. "You must be so proud." The dark woman smiled as she looked back at Zemi. "I must admit, I am a bit surprised. You see, in Britain there was a rumor going around that you were without a child… that you had lost your baby." Her voice had taken on a softness that, though false, was appreciated… or would have been should they not have their daughter.

"As you can see, my little Caesarea is just fine. Though there was a slight… issue." Zemi began and her well placed pause caught the other woman's attention.

"Issue?" Zabini inquired, though it was apparent to Ry that she wasn't the only one interested in the answer.

'_What luck. All the rumors of our "childless" status will be defused by the time we return by the looks of things.' _Though Ry was certain there would be even more rumors and questions thanks to their cover story, it was far better than what had been going around.

"Yes. 'Rea here… well, it is extremely rare but we had to wait until she decided what gender she wished to be…" He could tell his wife was deliberately being evasive, but he knew it would make the exchange seem more REAL to the people around them.

"What gender she wished to be?" A pale, black haired woman questioned as she decided to join their little group.

Ry wasn't sure how he felt about the Parkinson matriarch being so near to their "daughter." What with her husband having been a Death Eater and all, even if he hadn't been convicted of such.

But Ry knew he needed to remain calm. It wouldn't do to give the child's identity away by doing something foolish… such as worrying over nothing.

"Yes, it's a rare condition but we didn't want to force 'Rea to be one or the other. When she is of age she will be able to permanently decide one way or another…"

Understanding dawned on the faces of both females and they lit up at the realization. 'Rea being a hermaphrodite meant that both their children had a chance at the little beauty. And if anyone needed some looks infused into their bloodline, it would be the Parkinson family…

'_Or the Crabbe family… or Goyles… or Bulstrodes.' _Actually, there was a chance that several families would be after their child's hand…

"A hermaphrodite? My, that IS extremely rare." Lady Parkinson commented and gave Lady Zabini a look that said "my daughter could make the child wish it were male in a heart beat."

"Yes, it is. No wonder you've stayed here so long. It must have been tough waiting for her to show signs of preference." Zabini's tone was one of sympathy, but the look she sent to Lady Parkinson was damn near hostile. "It must be a relief for you now that you know she PREFERS being female." Even though she had been speaking to his wife, it was obviously directed at Parkinson.

"You never know." Parkinson shrugged. "It depends on who wins little 'Rea's heart."

'_Oh… this is going to be amusing.' _

Good news? Their child and cover story had been accepted flawlessly. Bad news? It appeared their daughter would be the center of the marriage battles Purebloods were known to have. Well, the fights known to those within the circles at any rate.

'_Those battles can get ugly.' _Luckily the child everyone was after was never harmed.

Truth be told, usually the desired child ended up pretty well off… no need for his family to worry.

'_And if they are busy trying to earn her favor, then they will be more likely to overlook a few things.' _Yes, this was a very good thing indeed.

"Nonsense. Such a pretty little girl should enjoy it!" Zabini brushed Parkinson off. "In fact, I believe she could be a model."

"THAT'S where I know her from!" Some woman in the crowd exclaimed.

"That's the little girl who was doing a photo shoot at Frilly Lily Café last night!" Another lady agreed and the whole bank started talking at once.

"You're right. Look, she's modeling one of the outfits."

'_There was only one outfit… But, if they want to believe there were several then I'm not going to correct them.' _Besides, if they believed she was showing off one of many outfits then no one would question why she currently only had one dress…

"Your daughter is a model?"

'_Oh, brilliant. Now the Malfoys are involved.'_

"Just recently she started showing off a bit, no big deal." Zemi made a gesture as if she were waving it off as nothing.

"She's adorable and so well behaved. I would love to have her model a few things for my shop, should you be interested." One lady said as she seemed to come out of nowhere. The brunette smiled and handed his wife a card. "I've designed a whole new line of children robes and dresses I need modeled, and since she has experience..."

Oh, this was getting deep… and complicated.

"As much as I am sure Lady Noir would love to show her little beauty off, this IS a place of business." Axerod cut in, bringing everyone's attention back to the fact they were standing around the bank.

A bank full of irate goblins who did not appreciate being ignored.

Apparently Axerod had become bored of just standing alongside Ry as they watched the scene unfold…either that, or he had decided to have mercy on his fellow goblins.

"Her name is Lady Zemirea Noir, and you can owl her. Right now, however, she is on MY time." Axerod stated haughtily and offered his elbow to 'Rea. "Now my dear, why don't we all adjourn to my office?"

'Rea smiled and took the offered arm without hesitation. "Le's." She agreed with a nod.

"Yes, let us be off." Zemi nodded. "I would be happy to discuss this further with you at another time." She informed the brunette designer.

"Sounds lovely." The designer smiled and bowed out of the small congregation.

Zemi smiled brightly before she turned toward the Pureblood ladies and their group. "It has been wonderful seeing you again. Perhaps we can get together at a later date? Now that 'Rea is older, we shall be returning to England."

"Sounds splendid." Lady Malfoy answered for the group. "Do owl me as soon as you arrive home. There are several parties I have planned and I would be delighted should your family attend."

'_Translation: You should bring your daughter to meet my son. I want to show everyone that our families are on good terms and my son has the best chance at winning her over.' _

Yes, there would never again be a dull moment for he and his wife…

'_Just one of the joys of being a father.'_

"Move it."

Right. His ladies might be liked by Axerod, but Ry was still the male "tag along" as far at the goblin was concerned.

'_No matter.'_

oOoOoOo

**A/N: Son of a… Okay, seriously, they will be going to Anom Alley next chapter! Even if I have to twist my muses' arm XD lol **

If you get a chance, there is a poll on my profile to decide what story I focus on after October. I am not abandoning ANY of them, mind you, I just need a focus is all XD lol One step at a time...

Thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed! I really appreciate you! ~ You all make my day :D Thankies!

Non-related fact... Did you know, as of October 1st, this story was just a thought in my head? Yea... I've typed 5 chappies since then. Wow XD lol Gotta love when my muse loves a story and is on a roll XD lol


	5. Under New Management

Chapter Five: Under New Management

Word Count: 1959

oOoOoOo

"Let me get this straight... You want me to lie, forge a birth certificate, and perform a blood adoption ritual in complete and utter secrecy?"

When the goblin put it that way, one had to admit... it sounded really bad.

_'__But it's for the best.'_ It was in the best interest of not only he and his wife, but for the child as well. No, for their FAMILY as a whole.

There was no way, in good conscious, that they could give the child back to the relatives who had abandoned her. Caesarea was theirs, and she would remain such no matter what means they had to use!

Besides, everyone thought she belonged to the Noir family anyway.

"Oh! And let's not forget getting a Healer to sign off and say the child is a hermaphrodite. That's going to be fun. You know what I have to say to all this?" Axerod asked and Ry cringed.

From what he knew of goblins, he wasn't sure he really wanted to hear what the scary bastard had to say. But, alas, he needed to protect his family and he would use any means necessary.

"You're lucky I have friends in high places and a Healer that owes me a favor."

He and his wife sighed in relief, but the child just stared at the goblin.

"Yes dear?" The goblin inquired upon noticing the child's questioning gaze.

It was a strange thing to witness, but it appeared the goblin honestly liked the child. Most of the time the creatures couldn't seem to stand kids, but 'Rea...

_'__One can't help but love the girl.' _ Ry could only hope that it all would work in their favor. More importantly, he hoped the goblin liked their little girl enough to do everything in his power to help her.

"Wats da cwech?" 'Rea asked the goblin with a raised brow and Axerod laughed, an honest to Merlin laugh!

"You're a bright one!" Axerod praised once he had calmed down a bit. "I like you kid. And yes, there is a catch. I can't go calling in favors for free you know." The creature smirked.

"As you know, Axerod, we're not the most wealthy of Purebloods..." Zemi started hesitantly.

Sure, they were well off and all their needs were met; Ry's company made him more than enough galleons to keep his family comfortable, their new addition included. But Pureblood or not, they were not anywhere near as rich as the Malfoys and their ilk.

"You can be." Axerod's comment caused Rynell pause.

Was the goblin actually suggesting that they could be on par with the Main Pureblood houses?

"It's not possible."

"Sure it is... if you have the right manager." Axerod shrugged.

"Manawga?" 'Rea inquired, open curiosity on her face.

_'__This is an improvement. Perhaps we should visit Axerod more often if he is able to coax her out of her shell.'_

"Yes. Did you like showing off your pretty dress while the lady took pictures last night?" The creature looked directly at 'Rea as he spoke, and the girl seemed happy to be treated as if she were an adult or something.

"Yes! Vewey much!"

"Would you like to do it again?"

"Yes pwease." 'Rea answered happily.

Axerod looked between Ry and Zemi with a smirk. "And there you have it. Models can make a lot of money, in both the Wizarding AND Muggle Worlds." Here he gave a toothy grin. "If they have a good manager of course."

Ry and Zemi exchanged a look before they stared at the goblin. It was hard to believe that something so simple could help their family gain so much. But would 'Rea really be up for it?

"Are you sure you would want to do that, 'Rea? It's a lot of work." Zemi explained to the child.

"As wong as I get to stay wiff my famiwey, I am aw fo' it!"

"That's what I want to hear!" Axerod exclaimed happily.

"An' dis is fun, not wike da chowes da Dursweys made me do aw da time."

"That's something I didn't want to hear." Axerod grumbled and took down a note, more than likey jotting down her "relative's" name for future reference. Gods have mercy on the Muggles' souls, because if the goblin got to them...

Ry would be sure to request memories for his pensive.

"But yes, with that attitude I'm sure you will have lots of fun!" The goblin exclaimed in an attempt to draw the conversation away from... darker territory. Ry was sure the man would be drilling the couple for information later.

Modeling... That was an interesting career choice for a child. The good news concerning the idea would be that, should 'Rea become popular and the people love her, they would be more likely to overlook any flaws. Bad news? Popularity and fame could be a double edge sword.

"Trust me, with my coaching and managing skills, you'll be the most beloved girl out there. You will need a stage name though..."

"Dawl?"

"Dawl?" Axerod repeated with a confused look on his face before it dawned on him. "Doll? Perfect!" He exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together. "This is going to be my most entertaining venture yet." He chuckled.

"How did you come up with that name, 'Rea?" Ry had to ask.

"Dats wat pwepole cawled me wast night." The child answered and Ry nodded.

Hell, even he had thought to call the child "Doll" the evening prior. In fact he had mentally commented that she was a Slytherin Doll in her outfit, so it was a rather fitting nickname...

_'__Or stage name, as the case may be.'_

"One problem." Zemi commented as she looked at Axerod.

"And what would that be?" The goblin inquired, cocking his head to the side.

"We're going back to England." Zemi began before a bright smile lit up her face. "So since I will have to send Punkin ahead of us to get the guest room ready, you won't have anyone to help you pack."

Axerod's jaw dropped for a moment before he composed himself once more and smirked.

"Well played, Zemi. A Slytherin through and through, regardless of some of your tendencies..."

"Ah, but the mark of a true Slytherin is the ability to blend in or stand out whenever the situation calls for it."

"Yes." Ry nodded. "A true Slytherin can adapt to any scenario." He agreed, though his eyes were on their daughter and not his wife.

_'__If anyone is the epitome of our House, I believe it's that child.'_

oOoOoOo

"This is the ritual room. You ready, Doll?" The goblin asked and 'Rea looked at him with a smile.

_'__Whatever it takes.'_ The saying had become her mantra and she was sticking to it.

After all, there was no way she was going back to those horrible... what had her mum called them?

_'__Muggles.'_

Right! There was no way she would willingly go back to THEM, those Muggles. Not when she had a lovely family right here who WANTED her and didn't care that she was a freak.

_'__They never really did ask my why the Dursleys called me a freak...'_

Not that she was complaining. If her new mum and dad wanted to know, she would tell them. However, she wasn't going to willingly volunteer the information. That was just asking for trouble as far as she was concerned.

"Alright 'Rea, just stand here in this circle and we will do the rest." Her mum stated and 'Rea nodded.

_'__I'm not sure what exactly they're doing, but I know mum said it was so that no one can take me away... Oh! Wonder what Punkin is going to make for dinner...'_

More importantly, would mum allow her to help? Mum had told her that she didn't NEED to cook for the family, but... well she was just so used to it she wasn't sure she could stop. Not completely at any rate. Besides, she really did enjoy making sweets! Baking was like an art, and she truly had fun mixing up delicious concoctions.

_'__Does the house we are moving to have a garden?'_

That's something else she wanted to ask. She hoped her mum would let her work in the garden... Or better yet, let her play! She had loved going outside at the Dursleys. Her cousin never let her have any friends, but he couldn't keep her from hanging out with the little snakes who would wander into the garden from time to time.

_'__They were more than happy to talk to me!' _ So maybe the snakes in the new place would be talkative as well? She sure hoped so! "Oh!" Rea cried out in shock when she felt a strange tingle go through her body.

Actually, it kind of reminded her of a few occasions at the Dursleys...

_'__Usually when something weird happened and they called me a Freak because of it.'_

"Are you alright, Doll?" Axerod asked in concern.

"Ting'old." Rea replied with a shrug.

"That's... normal." The goblin said hesitantly.

"If it is normal, why did you say it like that?" Ry asked from where he stood at Rea's back.

_'__When did he get over there?' _ She must have been deep in thought to have missed, well... everything. '_Gotta watch not to do that again.'_ No, one must always be aware of their surroundings. Bad things happened when people didn't pay attention.

"Well, it is normal for older children..." Her new "manager" trailed off.

"No worries. I'll get the details once I trounce you at gobstones." Zemi smiled sweetly from in front of Rea, but everyone could see the fiery challenge in her eyes.

Axerod coughed and Rea could swear she heard him say "doubtful."

"What was that?" Her mum questioned and the goblin actually looked slightly worried.

"Damn, females are scary regardless of race. No wonder I never married." Axerod grumbled and everyone laughed, Rea included.

She wasn't entirely certain of what was so funny, but everyone else was laughing and she couldn't help herself. She just felt so... wonderful!

"The ritual is complete. Every tapestry should show her as your descendent and tests for inheritance will recognize her as an heir to the House of Noir. HOWEVER, be mindful of heredity potions. It would list you as her adoptive parents and would reveal her true lineage..." Axerod stated gravely and both of Rea's new parents nodded in understanding.

The goblin then turned towards her and smiled. "Caesarea Didina Noir, you are now and forever the child of Rynell Sagittarius Noir and Zemirea Imani Noir nee Ollivander. Any questions?"

Rea stared at the goblin wide eyed before she nodded.

"What do you wish to know?"

"Mm no' gonna have ta say der nams for a widdle, wight?" The child asked, her tone bordering on panic.

"Say our names?" Rynell wondered aloud and Zemi laughed.

"Your middle name, dear. Can you imagine trying to pronounce that at her age?"

Ry blinked and Rea started to feel a lot better. It was obvious they didn't expect her to be able to say their names... not for a while, at any rate. She made a mental note to work extra hard on her speech, and learning in general, so she could make her parents proud.

"Oh, and like your maiden name is any easier?" Ry countered his wife with a smirk before he smiled at their little girl. "Mum and Dad is fine for now, Rea. Just knowing what our names are should be good enough, seeing as we will never require you to call us by them."

The child sighed in relief before a brilliant smile lit up her face.

"Can we go expwore, Dad?"

"Good idea, Doll!" Axerod praised and Ry smiled in approval. "Get the boy outta my hair..." He motioned towards Ry, "even if I have none." He chuckled and rubbed his bald head.

"I don' wike dat werd." Rea commented softly with a sigh.

"Pardon?" At the goblin's question, however, the girl flinched.

"She doesn't like that word. Boy, right Rea? You don't like that word?" Zemi inquired and Rea nodded in response to her mum's question.

Axerod looked at Zemi with a raised brow.

"I will explain over gobstones." Zemi stated before she smiled and walked over to kneel in front of her daughter. "Now you and Daddy go out and have fun, okay? Be a good girl and stay close to your Dad for me."

"Otay!" Rea smiled.

"That's my girl!" Zemi smiled and hugged the raven haired child. Green eyes met smaller emerald orbs as she whispered, "and maybe you can talk him into taking you to see the animals! You would like that, wouldn't you? I'm sure if you ask nicely, Daddy will get you a pet."

Rea nodded enthusiastically. She had never been allowed into the pet store before, much less have one! She had always been forced to stay out in the car while Dudders enjoyed looking around. And while Dudley had been taken to the zoo, TWICE, the Dursleys had never so much as put her in the automobile to take with them.

The only animals she had been in contact with were Mrs. Figgs cats, Aunt Marge's horrid dog, and the lovely serpents who visited the garden.

"Yays! Aminols!" Rea squealed in delight and ran to her dad. "Can we see aminols?"

"Yes, let us leave your mother to pry information from Axerod over a friendly game while we amuse ourselves by observing the animals." Ry nodded and gently took Rea's hand as they made their way to the door.

"One question..." Zemi's voice caused Rynell pause and he looked over his shoulder at his wife in askance. "Do you even know where you're going?" She inquired and Rea giggled when her Dad's eyes widened slightly.

Apparently her Daddy hadn't a clue.

oOoOoOo

**A/N: ** Yes, Ry has been to Anom Alley before. No, he hasn't a clue where the animal store is XD lmao

Another chapter done and they STILL haven't gone shopping! Ugh! *glares at muse*

**Muse:** Hey! Last time you said you would make me take you to the Alley and I did. You didn't say I had to take you SHOPPING.

**Ari: ** Oo;; Hmmm... You got me on a technicality ^^;; lol Damn Slytherin muse...

Also, you will notice that Harry, or Rea, is not wearing glasses. Even though her biological Father did, her biological Mother did not. Therefore I'm going with the theory that the cupboard caused the issue, and seeing as she escaped early on it will not become a problem. After next chapter I'm hoping to do a time skip (HOPE being the key word here) and we can get on with the story and closer to Hogwarts... Because THAT is going to be a blast! XD lol

**A/N 2: **I have recently started playing on MuggleNet Interactive (google it, the site is awesome!) which is a Harry Potter Fan site where you can have classes, go to Gringotts, Publish "books" (fanfictions) in Flourish & Blotts. I have a poll on my profile, because I want to know your opinion. Should I publish a current fanfic in F&B or should I make a new one exclusively for it? Just curious :D lol

**Next time on Dude Looks Like a Lady: **Ry and Rea WILL go shopping! See ya soon!


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